There might not be a more common phrase in social media customer service than
> Please send us a DM 

It’s absolutely everywhere, and it’s easy to see why.
It feels safe, professional.
It’s courteous and polite.
It feels like you’re helping.

The reality is? Often you’re doing none of those things.

I get it. It’s not malicious, there’s reasons we need to hold these conversations in private.
Customer privacy, accessing account details, complex internal processes.
Even ticketing tools, staff comfort and the class “that’s how we’ve always done things”.

I’ve done them all, for the same reasons.

But none of them are about customer experience. It didn’t even make the top 10.

The real issue is, someone outlines a problem, their phone is broken, they’ve had no gas for 3 days, or they bought a dress for a weekend wedding and it doesn’t fit.
The reply? “Please send us a DM”.

The organisation has completed the first step. And what did the customer get, what’s really happened?
There’s no acknowledgement, or empathy. No ownership, no information.
No hint of timelines, confidence or feeling heard.

Just a polite “You don’t belong here”.

It’s a tough message to reach out for help and basically be told “you made the wrong decision today”.

Forcing someone to change channels is changing the terms of the conversation. 

A DM is a location.
Customer service is a process, a conversation.
Changing location isn’t progress.

A DM shouldn’t be the first thing you ask for. It should be the first thing you’ve earned.

DMs can be very necessary, it may well be the only way to solve things for the customer. And all you need to do is earn it. Earn the transition.

> “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I get why it’s frustrating, we’ll just need to grab some account details, and you don’t want to post those publicly. If you can just send us a DM with your…” and they know why, and where they stand.

If alternatives exist? Offer them.

Because someone knowing they’re in the wrong place and why, makes it easy to define the process.
Even where that includes alternatives. Because they may not want to be in a DM with you to begin with.

By outlining as much of the process as you need to (don’t go overboard) that process might involve exactly the same steps in an email, a call, a trip to a store. The process to change locations has already begun. There’s no need to assume it’s on your terms.

Asking someone to message you, is saying something to everyone else.

The second reason is…the hidden audience. It’s everyone else watching. It’s whether you’re demonstrating and teaching other people you’re willing to listen and take ownership. And you’re telling them how to DM you too. For everyone willing to post publicly and ask for help, there’s 20 people who don’t want to be seen. Setting the expectation up front lets them handle things on their own terms too.

By rushing to hide them in a DM, you’re basically hiding your FAQs.

Every public issue and answer that disappears into DMs becomes one more question someone else has to ask tomorrow. And that feels like a really expensive way to do customer service.

The goal isn’t about getting customers into a DM. And my point here isn’t about avoiding it. The goal is to get them a little closer to resolution. And knowing what resolution really means.